I Have A Brain Hurricane

Faster than a straight line wind gust, more powerful than an F-5 tornado, able to leap over dangling participles in a single bound:   that's my mind when I am writing. And, like a hurricane, it is impossible to control and just as unpredictable.

My Rules for Writing

1. Holy Spirit Filter.
Being a Christian and having a Christian worldview, I desire that all I do should glorify God, and so everything that I write goes through the Holy Spirit filter. A Holy Spirit filter is my conscious effort to make sure everything I write would honor God. Sometimes the Holy Spirit filter kicks in right away and other times not until the revision stage. The best resources for developing a good Holy Spirit filter are the Scriptures and communion with God.

2. Read good books.
Read early and often. Read a quantity of quality. By immersing my brain in excellent literature, naturally I have more stuff to draw from. Quality in, quality out. I don't consciously take note of new vocabulary, interesting sentence structure or theme-building techniques but I do know it soaks in and affects my writing and/or thinking.

3. Experience.
I hardly ever say no to a new experience. (spelunking and rappelling may be exceptions and possibly rock climbing) Even if it sounds like something I'm really not going to be that into, I will give it a try. If I really think I'm going to hate it, I will go along for the ride with my camera in my pocket, with the sole intent of taking pictures for possible blackmail on some future occasion.

4. Perspective--divergent thinking.
I like to write about things people don't expect and in a way they don't expect. I shun tired old cliches, worn-out figures of speech and used-up phrases. I never want my reader to say or think, "Wow, I saw that coming a mile away."  Unless it is a tornado heading my way, in which case I want them to say that as soon as they see it.

5.  Think-think-think all the time.
My intent is to engage in the life I'm living.  But if a thought comes to me, I will jot it down in a little notebook...or on my arm. Or on somebody else's forehead. Whatever works.    

6.  Reread, review, revise or rewrite.
When I have a brainstorm, I write until I have gotten it all out of my system. Then I go back to reread it. Sometimes I find I like the way it came out and very little revising is necessary. Then there are the other times:  the times when I have to cross out, delete or erase, when I have to rewrite phrases and rearrange paragraphs. Or totally scrap it and start over. Usually, I am going to be rewriting. I try not to let it discourage me. I want to really like what I have written and, unless it is a very unusual situation, I do not quit until I am thoroughly pleased with the final product.

7.  Vary sentence structure.
We are all so tired of predictable sentence patterns: the old noun followed by a verb with a few adjectives and adverbs thrown in now and then. I like to begin a sentence with a verb phrase now and then or perhaps a couple of adjectives. Sitting in a composition class with my son a few years ago, I learned a lot from the Excellence in Writing curriculum. And I highly recommend it. Sadly, the feeling probably isn't mutual because I routinely ignore some important and possibly essential rules of grammar and punctuation.

8.  Engage the audience.
When I choose something to write about, it has to matter to me. However, when I choose something to publish on my blog, it has to matter to me and my audience. From the very first sentence, I want to "hook" my readers and get them to care about what I'm writing about. Sometimes my opening sentence or my title is a little mysterious or unexpected and that piques interest. Other times my title might be boring but the subject is relevant to many. Still other times, the subject is so off-beat that one can hardly resist reading it to see what that's all about.

At least, that is what I am hoping for. And sometimes it works.

The Top Ten Reasons...

...why I will never be Kelly Bass when I grow up:

#10. because I love my *pink* thermal underwear and my *pink* hoodie and I plan to wear them to every campout this year

#9. because I have pretty much lapped her in height

#8. because I like taking pictures of flowers  (although I almost took a picture of bear "scat" when
we were at Boy Scout camp as well as a picture of a tree branch that looked like a Q)

#7. because I would never rappel down a mountain when there is a perfectly good path to walk down

#6. because I don't think I could ever have as much energy as she has...even if I drank three energy drinks a day (although I am pretty sure that would be quite amusing)

#5. because, after looking all over our tent at camp, I never did figure out where to plug in my curling iron

#4. because I cannot get up at 4:30 a.m. to run with my dog...my dog is way too lazy

#3. because I could never fit five days worth of clothes in a backpack, much less five days worth of clothes, a tent, a sleeping bag AND my share of the food

#2. because I am sorely tempted to bedazzle my baseball cap

                        and the number 1 reason why I'll never be Kelly Bass when I grow up...

#1. because I don't think I will ever be able to "leave no trace"

     

Last Week I Learned... Part Four

                               ...a buck in your purse is better than three bucks in the backyard

...into each life a little rain must fall...and in Colorado that usually happens every day

...our campsite is our "home sweet home" and home is that much sweeter when we can put the "smellies" in the trailer so the bear can't get them

  ...it might be a hill to you but it is a mountain to me.




























...the sky seems bluer, the grass seems greener and God seems nearer in Colorado

                                                ...good things come to those who wait

                                                ...bad things happen to good people

                                                ...and some things you just can't figure out

Last Week I Learned... Part Three

 ...it's going to rain so I better be prepared.

...just let the bear have whatever the bear wants














...and stay out of his way...unless you're burly and have a big voice...(or a stick and a pile of rocks)

         .
                       ...you've got to keep climbing, even when the mountain seems impossibly high

              ...if you go hiking with this guy he will take really good care of you










...bloom where you are planted...even if it is in the middle of the path...and you might get stepped on

                                                               ...keep looking up

                        ...there will always be another mountain for another day---at least, in Colorado

Last Week I Learned... Part Two

                                                  ...to look for reminders of the love of Jesus everywhere







 

...a few aspen trees can make even a scummy lake beautiful

...I don't need reveille when the sunrise calls to me as it kisses the trees on the mountain above our campsite

                                                       
                                                          ...even the trees have eyes

...to put my focus on what is really important--both in life and in photography

                    ...stopping to smell the flowers is worth having to run to catch up

Last week I learned: Part One

                                      ...there's joy in the journey as well as in the destination.

                                                        ...even thistles are beautiful.



















...this is fashionable footwear at camp.













...Spam isn't really so bad...as long as you're hungry and there is lots of cheese on top!

...perspective is everything. The tree seems bigger than the mountain but that is just because I am closer to it.  Should I focus on the mountain I could climb tomorrow or the tree I could climb today?





                                           
                                                   ...whatever you do, stay on the path

..

A Week at Summer Camp

A week that began with a car breakdown on the drive to camp, which was just a hint of the car troubles to come. Problems with a fuel injector, a dead battery, a starter motor that went out and a blown-out tire were some of the challenges our vehicles faced throughout the week.

A week of living in this little "village":

A week that that included several bear sightings and the pillaging of the girls' tent--twice.

A week when aforesaid bear was not content with rummaging through our things--he had to take Kelly's entire backpack up the mountain behind our campsite, claw through it and examine all of the contents. After consuming several granola bars, he grabbed the sleeping bag, took it farther up the mountain and shredded it royally.

A week of nicknames (inside my head mostly but not entirely) that began with "Harrah", ended with "Rambo" (Mark's nickname for Kelly) and included: Moose, Spike, Rye, Pocahontas, Bee, Cap'n, Mountie and Bush.

A week with a few trips to the First Aid Hut as well as to the hospital in Pueblo. Dehydration, allergies, a swollen ankle, a serious fall, a skinned shin or two and an emergency appendectomy were some of our medical issues.

A week when the boys accomplished much: merit badges, advancement requirements, Totin' Chips, Fireman's Chips, 25 miles on a backpacking trip, the 50-miler award, several 20-miler awards, a climb to the summit of one of the Spanish Peaks for two of our guys and a "beginner's hike" that lasted 6 hours, covered 7.6 miles and ascended to an altitude of almost 8900 feet.

A week when good character shone:  big guys helping little guys, boy scouts respecting authority, no complaining about the peas that showed up at dinner three days in a row (cleverly hidden in raman noodles, tuna casserole and vegetable stew), diligence and perseverance as they hiked and climbed and attended classes daily.

A week of stories and legends--around the opening campfire, around the fire in our campsite and on the "Legends" hike.

A week that included some scary moments: the bear incidents, of course but also the startling appearance of a fawn who bolted of the woods, practically knockng us over before he dashed into the woods on the other side of the road, scary "animal" sounds at night (some of which were later determined to be of human origin), rodents nibbling on things under the tent platform and one who actually popped up his head between the floorboards. And not to forget the very scary time when one of our guys went home after dark to the wrong campsite.

A week when food was mostly a positive topic of conversation and a highly anticipated event. Bonds of friendship were forged over slices of bacon. And we all knew who we could count on to be at the front of the line for dinner and who would be first in line for seconds.

A week when we watched for the legendary Indian Chef Grandote's shadow on the mountain. (Feathered headdress is to the left and his profile is to the right)

A week with an abundance of wildlife: pronghorn antelope, mule deer, hummingbirds, chipmunks rabbits and bears. And an abundance of Colorado wildfowers:  bluebells, columbine, queen anne's lace, daisies, clover and Russian thistles.

A week at camp where every day ended with cups of coffee (or cocoa) and our last day ended with a beautiful rendition of "Taps."


A week that will be forever in our hearts and memories.

Peter--Brash and Bold

He was there when Jesus was arrested, in very real danger of being taken into custody, too. Those were frightening, terrifying moments for him and for his friends.

But when Jesus told the soldiers "I am the One you are seeking, let these men go their way," it appears that most of the disciples then quietly stepped back. But not Peter.

Brash and bold, he drew his sword to defend Jesus. Knowing he was no match for the soldiers of the high priest, Peter chose the high priest's servant as the object of his wrath and struck off his ear.

The events of the next few moments are truly amazing. Jesus healed the servant. And apparently the soldiers didn't even notice. How could they not have seen? A display of the power of the Son of God before their very eyes and they did not see it. What were they doing--where was their attention as Jesus tenderly touched the ear, restoring it to full function? Capturing Jesus was their assignment--surely their eyes would be full on Him. Yet Jesus performed His last miracle before their very eyes and they were oblivious.

Then the soldiers seized Jesus and led him away. Most of the disciples then fled, fearing for their lives. Peter followed at a distance--still brash and impetuous--maybe not as bold.

In the hours that followed, three times he was recognized as having been with Jesus and three times he denied it. Upon the third denial and the crowing of the rooster, the enormity and reality of his denial of Jesus pierced his heart

and he wept aloud...no longer brash and bold

but broken and burdened with sin.

The Neighborly Bully

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, today we present for your entertainment and enlightenment, one of the parables of Jesus which we have entitled The Neighborly Bully. Well, it was a parable when we started out but I am not sure what it is now. You will meet a prospector, a villian, a cowboy, a deputy sheriff, a bully, some curious bystanders--that would be you guys--and me, the illustrious and ever important narrator. Since this is a melodrama, we will need audience participation...and probably a little practice...

(sign holder holds up signs)
BOO!
HOORAY!
HUH??

Narrator: I think you’ve got it!
A certain man…

Prospector: Me!

Narrator: Was traveling from Dry Gulch to Cactus Corner when he was waylaid by a bandit…

Bandit: Me! (bandit knocks man over, pretends to hit him)

Sign-holder: -BOO!-

Narrator: The bandit took his wallet with all his credit cards and the bag of gold nuggets and left him for dead…

Bandit: He’s dead. (takes wallet and bag of gold nuggets and walks off, looking back a couple of times.)

Prospector: I don’t think I’m dead but whatevs. (lifts head to say line then lays it back down) Oooh, ouch. (lifts head) No, I am pretty sure I am not dead. But I think I’m going to faint. (faints)

Narrator: So the man lay there moaning and groaning until a sheriff’s deputy passed by.

Deputy: I am the Deputy Sheriff in these here parts and I’m on official deputeeee business...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Deputy: ...Protecting women and children...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Deputy: ...tracking down train robbers...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Deputy: ...rounding up cattle rustlers

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Deputy: ...and scooping up the mess horses leave behind.

Signholder: -HUH?-

Deputy: Hey, somebody’s got to do it.

(deputy turns to look across the stage, notices man)

Prospector: Help me, I’ve been waylaid…robbed…beaten…left for dead…

Deputy: (as an aside) Sad day for you!

Signholder: -HUH?-

(deputy walks across stage, going way around the man)

Deputy: I have much more important business today! (said right before he walks offstage)

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: The next person to pass by was a cowboy, a regular John Wayne kind of guy, the guy who reunites little calves with their mommies...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Narrator: ...who brushes his horse every day...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Narrator: ...who never fails to put a nickel in the offering plate at church...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Narrator: ...and who spits on the sidewalk.

Signholder: -HUH?-

Cowboy: Let’s see…where's that to do list? (pulls out a long list and reads it)
Brand 5 new calves--check.
Fix barb wire fence--check.
Replace left front horseshoe on Ole Paint--check
Pick up some---

(looks up and notices man laying on ground who is quietly moaning…he continues across the stage, walks WAY around him)

Cowboy: I can’t forget to pick up some beans for the cook…I don’t have time today to chitchat with somebody dumb enough to get beaten and robbed.

Signholder: -BOO!- (cowboy leaves)

(bully comes upon the scene, carrying a water bottle)

Narrator: And it so happened that the town bully was the next to pass by. A guy who steps on kitties’ tails...

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: ...takes candy from babies...

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: ...trips little old ladies trying to cross the street...

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: ...and burps at Sunday dinner.

Signholder: -HUH?-

Bully: (walks right over to the man) What happened to you? Been fighting or something?

Prospector: (moaning) yeah, something. More like being mugged…

Bully: Looks like you got the worst of it. Man, that’s gotta hurt!

Prospector: Yeah, my thumb is bleeding pretty badly. (holds up thumb) Plus I think my leg is broken.

Bully: Here. Let me help you.

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

(Bully hands him the water bottle) Do you want a Spider Man bandaid or a Hello Kitty bandaid? (puts the bandaid on his thumb)

Prospector: (looks at his thumb) Oh, that’s cute! (then starts groaning again)

Bully: Let’s get you to my granny’s house. She’ll nurse you back to health.

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Bully: I’ll give her some money for to buy some more Hello Kitty bandaids and some Campbell’s chicken noodle soup...

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Bully: ...and here, have a candy bar I took from a baby.

Signholder: -HUH?-

(Bully helps the man stand, puts his arm around him and the two go off stage, the prospector limping all the way)

Narrator: Which of these three men proved to be a good neighbor?
The sheriff’s deputy?

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: The cowboy?

Signholder: -BOO!-

Narrator: The town bully?

Signholder: -HOORAY!-

Narrator: Even though the bully was in a rush, probably on his way to pop somebody‘s birthday balloons...

Signholder: -HUH?-

Narrator: ...he was the only one to stop and help. When Jesus finished telling this story, he said “Go and do likewise.” No, He didn’t mean for you to take candy from children or to step on kitties’ tails, He meant for you to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself and to be the one to give him a Hello Kitty bandaid and a bottle of cold water.

Quite a Little Adventure

Cheerfully we trooped out to the van on errand day, little knowing what lay ahead of us...or what any of us were going to have to say about it.


There are two stop lights within a block of each other and wouldn't you know it--the light in the furthest intersection turned red and the traffic was backed up so much that we ended up stuck in the middle of the second intersection but too far into it to be able to turn right.

 "Well, this is awkward," remarked the little man.


Sometimes as we travel along our merry way we have deep discussions about topics of significance and relevance. This was not one of those times. We were discussing some of the different euphemisms for "restroom."

me: When the British are talking about the restroom they say 'the W. C.'
little man: When the Indians are talking about it, they say 'behind the tree.'


Usually it takes the little man quite awhile to make up his mind what he wants to order when we stop for fast food. So I make certain to give him plenty of time to think it over.

me: Were you considering ordering a chicken snack wrap?
little man: Last time I checked my brain, I wasn't.


Sister was graciously getting our drinks and asked me if I wanted Dr. Pepper or Coke. I replied, "D.P." Her shocked face upon my reply revealed to me that she hadn't heard my complete answer.

Her comment: "Mom, we don't say that word in public!" was a perfect echo of my words in times past.


During our meal we asked little man to get us a refill of our drinks.  We appreciated his willingness to serve us but I cannot find the words to describe the feeling when one takes a swig of pop only to find out it is not what was expected. Lesson learned: do not send the little man to get refills as he will return with mixed drinks.


After our meal, I was appalled to discover that my keys were not in my purse...or in my jeans pocket...nor were they in anyone else's purse or jeans pocket.

me: I think I locked my keys in the van
sister: You know that's illegal, don't you?
me: I don't think it's illegal, I think it's stupid

Illegal or not, when we looked through the van window we could see the keys swinging merrily in the ignition so we enjoyed an ice cream cone while waiting for big sister to come rescue us.  Soon we were once again on our way but not before little man observed brightly,"Well, that was quite a little adventure, wasn't it?"

Child of the Covenant

Child of the covenant,
Known before time;
Loved in the darkness
No merit of mine.

Child of the Covenant,
By faith I believe--
His offering of blood
My redemption achieved.

Child of the Covenant,
And child of the King,
Only by grace
Am I under His wing.

by Karen Nilson
(all rights reserved)

t.y.o.b.

Scene: Skateboard park in South OKC

Cast: Inumerable crazy young men
one slightly nervous mom
one aspiring skateboard star known as t.y.o.b. (ten year old boy)

Props: skateboard and helmet

t.y.o.b.: Thanks for taking me skateboarding, Mom! (as we pull into the park)
mom: be careful, ok?
t.y.o.b.: ok

t.y.o.b. tries one slopes and jumps off the skateboard before he gets to the bottom, then tries it again with same result. He then spends some time watching the other guys, adjusts and readjusts his helmet, finds another slope, gets in line, adjusts his helmet, gets on skateboard, falls, scrapes his elbow a little, gets on again, jumps off again, adjusts his helmet, leaves the skateboarding area and decides to try his skateboard on the sidewalk that has a little slope to it. I sit on the bench in the sunshine watching all the crazy people then notice the t.y.o.b. as he comes limping back without his skateboard.

mom: where's your skateboard?
t.y.o.b.: I'm bleeding, Mom.

Evidently a bleeding person cannot carry a skateboard and this particular bleeding person needs some ice on his wounds

So we pack it up for McDonald's. He licks his wounds (figuratively) as I order a Wildberry Smoothie and a coke with a side of ice. The ice soothes the sting a little but he is finished with skateboarding for the day so we hop into the van.

t.y.o.b.: Mom, where are we going?
mom: home
t.y.o.b.: oh, I thought we were going to the hospital.

I am sure there are no broken bones and I am certain our first aid kit will be sufficient for his needs so we continue to head towards home.

t.y.o.b.: I didn't cry, Mom.
mom: I know...it really hurt, didn't it?
t.y.o.b.: yeah, but I didn't cry.
(long pause)
t.y.o.b.: thanks for taking me skateboarding, Mom.